The new boob

Well I finally found a surgeon and on May 20th I got my new boob. Yahoo!!! I had to travel to Santa Clara for the surgery. I'm happy with the results. I can wear a swimsuit without fear that my prosthetic will fall out. I will have to have one more surgery to make them even but this will be a easy one.

update

I know I have been away for 2 months but it’s hard to write about what I’m dealing with. I have found a doctor in Santa Clara who will doing the surgery I want. I’ve been waiting 2 months for him to give me a surgery date which hopefully will be in May. I hate waiting but what can i do.

Happy New Year!

My hair is out of control. It’s coming back curly and dark. I will have to take a picture and post it so every to laugh.
It’s been a relaxing passed few weeks and now I’m on the job hunt. I’ve put my resume in at a few places and now I’m just waiting.
I’ve also started the doctor hunt again. (I sound like a broken record) I’ll keep everyone updated on that. Wish me luck! It has been great not having to deal with doctors for 2 months. It is a big change and I don’t miss it.
Today Justin and I are going to my sister’s house to celebrate Sean and Grace’s 9th birthday. They are getting so big. Here is what they looked like in 2000. They were 3 months old.

It’s almost xmas

Not much has been happening here. I guess when I face the doctor issue life will be more exciting. I’m going to wait until next year to deal with everything.

I need to start looking for a job soon. I’m so ready to work again. I have a need to learn new stuff.

I’m still on the hunt for a new doctor, even if it is not from Kaiser. I guess I’m on the hunt to find who can make the best boob.

Waiting Game or Is It the Crying Game

I met up with a new doctor. He was really nice but he doesn’t do the DIEP processor. He also likes to wait 1 year after radiation. That would bring my surgery date to September. I’m going on a cruise in September. So what does that mean to me? I’ve decided to take the holidays off and worry about it in January.

I also need to start looking for a job. My disability ends December 31st.

Other then all this mess I’ve been good. I feel healthy and my brain is starting to work again.

Winter is Coming and I Have Hair

My appt was cancelled last week. The doctor’s nurse called me and told me I weigh too much. The doctor won’t do the surgery. They told me it would be a waste of my time if a come down. So I’m back at square one.

I have an oncology appt tomorrow. I’ll see what she says. I’m so tired of doctors at this point!

I have a new picture to share. It’s of Sean (nephew) and me. As you can see my hair is coming back!

Kaiser Sucks!

I had an appt. in Hayward with my new plastic surgeon. I drove all the way down to find out that my appt. was canceled. I was pissed! I have no love for Kaiser right now!
They rescheduled my appt. to Wednesday at 4:30pm.

I Walked 4 The Boob

This weekend I walked 5 miles for Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. It was an amazing day. I walked with some of my girls from my support group and some of my family. Here is the first picture I have:

Total Freak Out

I called to make an appointment with my plastic surgeon. His office told me he no longer works at Kaiser. He was the only doctor that does the DIEP procedure in Walnut Creek. I just saw him 3 weeks ago.
I'm so screwed.
There is one other doctor in the area that does DIEP but she is in Hayward and I have to get a referral to see her. I have an appt in Walnut Creek Monday to hopefully get it. I just have a feeling that they are going to try and talk me out of doing this procedure. I also think my timeline for reconstruction is now going to be pushed out.
So I’m freaking out!!!

Radiation Free Zone

I’m done with radiation. It gave me a pretty big raw patch under my arm and I itch but other than that it was easy.

My next step is to start Hormonal Therapy. I will be taking Tamoxifen for 5 years. Here is some information on it:
http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/hormonal/serms/tamoxifen.jsp

I’m also on the countdown to reconstruction surgery. The girls will be together again soon! I can’t wait!!!!

5 more to go!!

I’m back from my wonderful weekend at Kelly’s bachelorette party. I have a couple of pictures to share.. Me as a hot red head and laura!! LoL





Only 5 zap's to go!!

To the powerful women I know:

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says,

'Oh shit....she's awake!'

Almost Done Getting Zapped!

I’m just hanging out at Kelly’s house today. We are getting ready for her bachelorette party this weekend. We will be heading down to San Luis Obispo tomorrow. We are going wine tasting and out to the bars. I haven’t decided if I’m going to wear a wig. I think I look funny in wigs.

I only have 7 more radiation sessions left. It hasn’t been too bad. I’m just a little red, sore, and tired.

I have some messed up news… I probably won’t have my reconstruction surgery until Jan. That means I won’t go back to work until March. I was so upset. I just want thing to be back to normal.

1 Week Down 4 Togo

I started radiation this week. I have to go everyday (Monday – Friday) at 8:15 am. It only takes about 15 minute’s total. They radiate each area for about 1 minute. I have 3 areas that get zapped.
Well I feel great. I had my blood work done this week and my counts are still low. I have about two weeks until my counts should be “normal”. I can’t wait until my hair grows back then I won’t look sick.

Slow Down

Not much going on here. I’m just trying to get back into shape. Wait was I ever in shape. Lol
I have one week until radiation starts. I hope I can go early in the morning.
I’ll be heading up to Eureka next weekend with my friend Kim. I haven’t been up there in at least a year. I can’t wait to see everyone. I’ll have to take lots of pictures. I hope its not to cold! Cold weather and a bald head doesn't mix.

Chemo Free

Today I have finished all of my medication in relation to my Chemo. I did my last neupogen injected. I feel like having a party.

It was my birthday on Monday. I had a pretty mellow day. I wasn’t feeling good. Poor me… LOL Justin brought dinner home and we watched Stargate Continuum together. That made me happy! I’m a Stargate (it’s a TV show) addict.

Tuesday I went to my radiation oncologist. I received 3 tattoos. The tattoos are where radiation beam will be pointed. I will be starting radiation on the 25th on Aug.

Last Chemo

My last Chemo cocktail! I'm to excited!

Finally Done????

I’m excited that this is my last chemo treatment but I’ve been around too many women that have said the same. Their Cancer has returned and they had to undergo chemo again. Who is to say I won’t be the same!!! How do I go on thinking I will be the lucky one???? I know if the will to fight was the way to stop cancer from returning then I would have no Cancer in me. I know I will kick cancer butt although I know its all about how my cells are behaving.. I'm not going to be Cancer's Bitch… She will be mine. I have radiation next and I’m going to breeze through it!!! I know it!! l'm kicking Cancer BUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cancer 0 - Colleen 1

Inovis Picnic Over the weekend

Here is some funny pictures from this weekend.

1 Down One to Go

I only have one chemo to go. I have also finished with my support group. I guess I have graduated from the newly diagnosed group. There is another group I can go to but I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. It is just a breast cancer support group. I’m not sure about having to tell my story again. I guess I will just wait and see how I feel. I’m thinking about going to an individual councilor. I will have to check into it! I feel I have a lot of anger built up over this cancer. I really want beat the crap out of it and ask it why! lol
I can’t believe I only have one more chemo treatment to go. I hope the chemo killed all of the bad cells. =)

Chemo 3 Picture (Fuck Cancer)

Here is my new hat.. Its a little hot to wear outside!

Back on the Sauce Again

I have my next chemo treatment at 1pm today and I should be home around 4:30 to enjoy the heat. I need to get a pool so bad. =)
Some hair is growing back. I’m not sure how long that will last but it is coming in blonde. Wouldn’t that be funny if Icould finally a true blonde..

Funny Stuff

Almost ¾ done

This week I have my third chemo treatment. I know I have been whining a little and I’m sorry. I just hate the feeling of being sick. At least I only have 1 more after this!

I’ve been thinking about high school times. Cara (she posted a comment on my last blog) reminded me of all the fun summer times we had. We used to camp all summer at Trinity and play in the water. We also used to have nikmo’s (inside joke I know I spelled wrong). Life had no worries. Cara, Maria, Chris and I were Trouble… The good kind! I will have scan a picture! I know we never thought of Cancer. Sometimes I wish I could go back… I would love to hang out with the gang again!

Happy 4th

How sad it is that all I can think about on the 4th is my next treatment. It has been a great day! I had the in-laws at the house to bbq and we watched the fireworks on TV. Justin did a great job BBQ’n hamburgers. Yummy!! This was the first time I’ve watched the fire works on TV and it was better than good old DVC (that’s a college by me).
Next week is my 3rd treatment. Anyone want to do it for me??? I would gladly let you..

Slack’n

It’s been a week since I’ve updated the page. I’m sorry I’ve been slack’n. On Friday I had my appt w/ the plastic surgeon. It looks like I will have my big surgery sometime in November. I will have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. I’m looking forward to the end of this story.

Brain Haze

I’ve survived the weekend. I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck because of the Neupogen shots.

http://www.bt.cdc.gov/radiation/neupogenfacts.asp

It’s the same stuff that gave me all the back issue last time. I’m also feel very hazy... Now I really have Chemo brain! It feeling like there is nothing but mush up there! What’s my name again? lol
This next week I have an appointment with a plastic surgeon. I hope I like him. If not I guess I’ll go try out some other ones. It's like shopping for a new car but instead its a new boob. =)

Halfway Done With Chemo

It was another 3 ½ hours experience. We had to wait in the waiting room for ½ hour. It also took the nurse a couple tries to find a vein. Lots of fun… At least I’m half way done! Yahoo

I got a little sleepy! I didnt even know Justin took it!


Im smiling when I know I only have 15 minites left!

Round 2 is Almost Here

Here is what’s happening this week:
Tuesday – Support Group

Wednesday – Getting blood drawn to check red/white blood cell counts

Thursday – Appt with Oncologist & 2 cycle of chemo cocktail at 10:30

I can definitely see why people don’t complete chemo. I’m not looking forward to feeling like crap again. O well shit happens!!

The Bald and The Beautiful

Time to let some go!

Well it was time to cut it short! Kristen was with me the whole time! Theresa did a great job! She is amazing!

When is it time to goodbye?

Today, I wanted to cry but Damn it I won't! For fuck sake its only hair.
Here is what was in my shower drain after I washed my hair!

Caution!! I'll Be Radioactive Soon

I went to see the Radiation oncologist yesterday. I should be starting radiation about a month after my last chemo treatment. The treatment will be for 5 weeks everyday Monday – Friday. Each appointment will last about ½ hour.

Here is some info on radiation and what is does:
http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/radiation/how_it_works/index.jsp

O-SHIT! 11 Days After My Chemo &

Good Question

I’m back from the place called chemoland

I’m finally out of my feeling like cramp time period. All in all things are much better now. I’m sorry I haven’t updated everyone I just haven’t been in the mood to go online or chat. I have to say my first round of chemo hasn’t been that bad. I was having trouble sleeping, bone pain, back pain and stomach issue.
I've had no appt. this week. I'm just in the stage where I can't be round any sick people or I might get sick.

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/chemotherapy/side_effects/index.jsp

I haven’t lost any of my hair yet. I think I wont loose it for another week. he he

My first chemo party

You walk into a room with about 10 other people getting chemo. They take your temperature, blood pressure, and start an IV. It only took them 3 times to get an IV in me. I guess my veins didn’t want the chemo and now my arm looks like Justin beat me up. =) They then started me on a saline drip and added Benadryl a few minutes later. Once the Benadryl bag was empty I had to wait 30 minutes for it to take effect.
The Taxotere was next; they slowly add it in for 15 minutes to make sure that you don’t have an allergic reaction to it. Unfortunately when they took my temperature it was high (99.2) so I had to continue the slow drip for another 15 minutes. Once my temperature was back to normal they gave me the rest of the drug that took an hour. Next was the cyclophosphamide this took another hour.
What a long visit. I got there at 3pm and left at 6:45pm. I was so done!

Second Day Completed

Another good day has gone by. I still need to give you all the details of the 3 hour and 45 minute chemo cocktail party. I will make sure I will do it tomorrow.

I guess I'm not listening to this quote! lol

I survived my first day after chemo

So far so good, I’m just a little tired. I’m hoping that things will stay that way. I’ll probably be asleep in an hour. I’ll update you more tomorrow! I'm sorry I'm so sleepy!

Hot Chick on Chemo

I'm feeling great.. So far so good. I'll give you all the details tomorrow!

Chemo Minus 18 hours

I’m getting ready for tomorrow. I took my first pre-chemo drug today. I guess it helps against allergic reaction. I'll let you know of all my good drugs soon!
I will also bringing my camera tomorrow so I should have some pics to show you.
Don’t laugh to hard. =) Wish me luck!

Time to kick cancer ass!

Chemo starts in 5 days on Wednesday, May 28 @ 3pm. They say it take 3 days until I really feel the yucks and it will take 14 days to start losing my hair. I will have to take lots of pictures of my sexy bald head.

I'd Rather Do Chemo Than ....

As it stands now I am starting chemo next Thursday. The reason it is taking so long is that I need to have a Lupron shot tomorrow. This shot might have side effects. The doctor doesn’t want the side effects to be confused with the Chemo treatment. As for the chemo regiment I will be having it every 3 weeks for 4 sessions. I was told that the injection process will take at least 2 hours. So I have to bring some good movies to watch.

Today I went to my intro to chemo class. I was pretty much familiar with everything that they told me. The one good thing I got out of it was that I can’t clean the litter box. LOL Poor Justin I’m going to milk that as long as possible!!

Tomorrow I have my John Meir tumor board. I really think highly of these people. If they feel my current course of treatment isn’t correct they will let me know. I’ll let you know how that goes!

It was show and tell last night and I brought my new prosthetic boob

Yesterday I went to a birthday celebration for Sharon. We used to work together a few years ago. There were 8 of us hot ladies there including my sister and Karen (my sister from another mother). I really love those ladies they make me laugh!

I picked up my new Prosthetic boob yesterday and I had to whip it out and show everyone at the birthday party. It is so soft and almost feels real. Here is what it looks like

On Thursday I found out my oncotype score was 19. The ranges are low risk of recurrence 17 or lower, intermediate risk 18 to 30, and high risk 31 or higher. So I just made the intermediate rick category. This is great news I think!

I also got my PET scan results back. It looks clear. They don’t think the cancer spread! Yahoo!

Next week is another big week.
Tuesday – Support group & my introduction to chemo class at Kaiser
Wednesday – Tumor board at John Meir (second opinion on chemo) & young woman support group
Thursday - Justin’s and I 4th anniversary
Friday – Chemo???

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ....

Well the answer is chemo. I met my second opinion doctor today. She is pretty straight forward and gave us the fact. I really like her! She told me I will need the cocktail of TC . Here is some info on it!
http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/chemotherapy/new_research/20060217.jsp

I'm not sure how i feel about this. I know its a good thing but it scares the shit out of me!

One tuff titty

Today has been a little crazy with the status of my appointments. My Tuesday appt. got changed to Friday at 10am (because my test result are not in).
My Wednesday tumor board got changed to next week (because they didn't have all my labs).
So now I won’t know anything until at least Thursday(That is when I have my appt with the second opinion doctor).
Today I went to a class called look good feel good. It was really fun. I got two wigs just in case I lose my hair. The funny thing is that the wigs are red.. he he I made Justin try them on and he look hot!lol just like me.. lol

I will take picture of me in them.. You will laugh!

Count Down to the chemo answers

Life seems to be back to normal. I’m feeling great. The redness under my arm is almost gone. I’m able to sleep and do normal thing.

I’ve been going to a newly diagnosed support group on Tuesdays. It is really nice to meet with woman going through the same shit I’m dealing with.

I’m still just waiting until next week thats when I should get the answers about chemo. I hope!

Tonight I’m over at my sister’s house watching her kids. She is at a concert tonight. We are watching the golden compass. How normal is that! lol

Love this shirt.. I wonder if this will be me?

Happy Friday!!

It’s been pretty quiet around here. I don’t have another appt until next Friday. That’s when I have a PET scan. I’m feeling almost as well as before my surgery. I only feel a little pain when I reach for something.

Today I’ve been thinking about someone I met in young women’s with breast cancer group. Her name is Elena. She is 36 year old (with 2 kids) and having a double mastectomy today. She has already gone through chemo to shrink her tumor. I know she will do great today and she will end up with a great rack =)

My 2 cents on life:
You always should look at the bright side of life or you will get stuck with the shit! LOL

Does an apple a day keep the oncologist away? No! lol

Justin & I went to see my oncologist. He wants to do a oncotype test on my cancer. Here is what that is

http://www.genomichealth.com/oncotype/faq/pat.aspx

Basically it will tell the doctor if I will benefit from chemotherapy. The thing I don't get is that I don't meet the criteria for the test (I'm not Stage I or II or node-negative) I'm Stage IIIa.

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/diagnosis/staging.jsp

We also talked about my possible chemo cocktail. There are a lot of different chooses.

So what does this all mean! Well I'm waiting again! It takes 2 weeks to complete the test!

I think I'm going to get a second opinion! I want to make sure I'm getting the right treatment.

Justin's B-day weekend

It was Justin B-day on Friday but we had the family get together yesterday. I hope he liked what we got him. We also went and say Sean’s (my nephew) softball game.
His team is pretty good.
Today we are off to a SF Giants game. The weather should be great!
Tomorrow I should be back on schedule with my treatment.
I know it’s been pretty normal around here.
I think the hardest thing I have had to deal with after the surgery is getting my fake boob to stay in place. It always seems to ride high. LOL

Waiting again!

Not much going on until Monday. They moved my oncology appointment to then.
Today I'm going to go to Lunch with some people from Inovis and I'm going to finish buying Justin's B-Day presents.
Also tonight is the support group for Young women. I hope its good. This will be my first support group.

The Boob Poem

Yes, I did have my mammogram today... Why do you ask?

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts, " she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine. "
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good, "
I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one. "
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out.

Girls weekend

I’m going to go on a little getaway to Capitola this weekend with 4 other girls. It was something I planned before I was diagnosed. I didn’t think I would be well enough to go but here I am going! We are staying at a place right by the beach. It’s going to be cold but it will be nice to drink coffee on the beach and watch the waves. I’ll be back on Sunday.

I have been having problems sleeping. I woke up at 1 this morning and made a cake for the trip. I hope it tastes ok. =) I can’t wait until its comfortable to sleep again!

I forgot to tell you I get my first fake boob yesterday. Its called a softee. Here is what it looks like:



At least I dont look to lopsided anymore with my clothes on.. lol

Finally some good news comes out of this F’n cancer

I went to see Dr. M today. She told me that only the primary Lymph Node had Cancer. She took out 14 Lymph Nodes. So only 1 out of the 14 nodes have cancer. Finally I have some good news. Now I need to see my oncologist to start chemo!

I'm one hot lopsided chick LOL

It’s been really laid back the last couple of days. My parents went home yesterday. I guess I’m doing too well. Kim came down to hang out last night and today. It was nice to get out of the house.
I meet with Dr. M tomorrow. I will finally know how many lymph nodes were infected with cancer.
I’ve been also trying to call Kaiser and get my oncology appointment. As of this moment it’s scheduled for the 6th but that’s way too far away.
Why does Kaiser take so long!!

Rest and relaxation right!

My recovery has been going good. My parent are here and they keep telling my to sit down. I’m just stubborn and want to help around the house. I haven't been experiencing much pain at all. Although, I take vicodin on an as-needed basis, which wasn't much. The doctor called to check on me today. I guess she will know more about what stage I am on Wednesday. I hate this waiting game..

HOME SWEET HOME

I’m back from surgery. The surgery wasn’t bad, but they did find cancer in my lymph Node. Which isn’t good. Here is some info on it!
http://www.imaginis.com/breasthealth/lymph_nodes.aspI
Im falling asleep so I better go!

Off I go!

I have to get ready for my big day. Thank you everyone for being so great! I love you all! Call the my house if you want any updates. I'll try and post again soon.

Colleen

Surgery tomorrow

I have to be at Walnut Creek Kaiser tomorrow at 9:30.. Wish me luck... Say good bye to my boobie.. lol

Decision day

and I will be having a mastectomy.

3 days until ????

Tomorrow is the day for answers.
Today I watched a movie called "I wore lipstick to my mastectomy". It was a really good movie about a 28 year old woman with Breast Cancer

http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/movies/why-i-wore-lipstick-my-mastectomy

I also got my toes done with my sister. Nothing major going on today!

4 Days until I give cancer the finger or should I say part of my boob Monday, April 7, 2008

Today I worked on getting all my records to John Meir Cancer center. They are going to do something called a Breast Cancer Second Opinion Panel.
http://www.johnmuirhealth.com/index.php/breast_centers.html

They will give me a recommendation for my course of treatment. Then I will being that information to my appointment with Dr. M. at 4 that day.

Just an FYI I don’t know what time my surgery will be on Friday. I guess they call the night before and tell me. I'll let everyone know!

Something kinda funny happened to me today. I was asked if I was employed. I told her no I wasn’t working. She said “so you’re a homemaker”. I told her no! Kicking breast cancers butt is my full time job.

The calm before the storm!

What a great weekend. I almost could forget that was coming in 5 days. Justin & I went hiking today. I’m really going to miss that! I will have to ask the doctor how long I have to wait until I can exercise again. Here is a picture I took on the hike:




Justin & I also went to the Monsters (that what I call the nieces and nephews) games on Saturday.

Heigh-ho Heigh-ho It's no more work I go Heigh-ho Heigh-ho Friday, April 4, 2008

Well I got my Biopsy results back! It was not good news. This one is cancer too. They said it was high-grade DCIS.
Here is what that means
http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/dcis/type_grade.jsp

I'm not sure how this newly found cancer will change the surgery. But its probably not good..
I will be meeting with the surgeon on Wednesday to figure out what they are going to remove.

Here is a list of my upcoming appointments:

Wed, Apr 9, 4:00 pm With Dr M.
Thu, Apr 10, 3:30 pm They inject radioactive liquid, a blue dye in me
Fri, Apr 11, (time unknown)Surgery

Unemployment Here I Come - Thursday, April 3, 2008

It’s my last day of work. I will miss everyone at Mervyn’s but I have so much stuff to do at home. I don’t know were to begin. I finally got the surgery date. It will be on the 11th. I don’t know what type of surgery it will be but I will find out next Wednesday.

MRI Biopsy - Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I got my MRI Biopsy. That was an uncomfortable 2 hours. Luckily Kristen (my sister) bought me a massage. It felt really good. My back was killing me. The only problem is that the incision would stop bleeding. Check out this bruise!
Note: this is on bottom of my breast near to my ribs


I should get the biopsy results on Friday.. Everyone keep your fingers crossed that this mass isn't cancer!

I also heard that my surgury might be on the 11th.. Yahoo!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I am very impatient today. I want to know my surgery date. I did get a call from my surgeons scheduler person yesterday. She told me that my surgery would be on the 16th. I told her to check w/ Dr. M because Dr. M was going to move the date up.. The scheduler person told me that she would call me back. HELLO I'M STILL WAITING ON THE CALL BACK!! Its been 24 hours and my phone hasnt rang.. I want to hunt her down and sit on her until she give me the frak'n date!!

Laughter Cures Cancer!